socket minder -- socket minder needs throttle

[Fred T. Hamster]

throttling needed badly on socket minders:

1. the socket minder shouldn't send events! that's a huge butt clog.
2. only for connection events should it actually send the thing. or maybe for readable too?
3. the writable event could be handled as a simple lookup on the minder. or perhaps it should be dealt with by a time stamp?
4. don't send writable events faster than every N milliseconds! yes, that would be nice. allow throttling at the control level of those events so that we only get them as fast as we care about them.